Note: This was originally written in March of 2013. I updated it in June 2020 because life happened and my why grew even bigger.
Through the blur, I wondered if I was alone or if other parents felt the same way I did – that everything involving our children was painful in some way. The emotions, whether they were joy, sorrow, love or pride, were so deep and sharp that in the end they left you raw, exposed and yes, in pain. The human heart was not designed to beat outside the human body and yet, each child represented just that–a parent’s heart bared, beating forever outside its chest. – Debra Ginsberg
A few days ago, I read a beautiful post by Sellabit Mum. I thought it would be nice to write something of that sort in my blog too so that I can have something to show the kids when they ask about why I blog. Here goes!
To my little ones, this is why I blog…
I blog because I want to remember. I want to remember the four wonderful moments that your daddy and I cried tears of joy after hearing your heartbeats for the first time. We couldn’t see your faces then, but hearing the steady thump thump thump of your hearts already brought so much happiness.
I want to remember the first time I held each of you in my arms, the first time you smiled, your first step, your first word. I want to remember your monthsaries and birthdays, the first time you went trick or treating, Easter egg hunting, and Ninong/Ninang hunting during the holidays.
I want to remember even the smallest of things. The times when you would tease each other until one of you cries, the times when all of you take on Mommy and make me cry out of frustration. I want to remember our little heart-to-heart talks–even though you have your own “languages.” Trust me when I say that Mommy understands all of you clearly.
I want to remember EVERYTHING because, for me, every moment with the four of you is worth capturing — big or small.
I blog because I need to let all the frustrations out. Of being a mother, that is. Because sometimes, Mommy gets tired, too. And there are times when people put Mommy down for choosing to be with you. I have moments when I wish I wasn’t a mom… maybe then I can do all that I love to do: play instruments without little hands constantly pulling the strings, take photographs without being in a hurry because my subjects might get too bored, and going on spontaneous adventures on my own, with Daddy or with my friends. Then I read my posts in this blog and I’m reminded that being with you is way better. This blog continues to remind me that my happiest days are with you–tantrums or no tantrums.
I blog because I want to connect with like-minded people. People who are like me: parents in the process of learning the twists and turns of parenthood. I learn so many things from them and I am happy to know that they get a few tips and tricks from my blog, too. My readers and fellow mom/dad bloggers are my our virtual family. Thank them, when you have the chance. They have provided the support your daddy and I need when being parents becomes too difficult.
And I blog because I want our family to be an inspiration to others – and for you, dear minis, when you have your own families. I want us to be a reminder that bad days do not equal a bad life. These difficult days come and go; and as long as the family sticks together, we can face whatever hurdles come our way.
One day, I hope you will find the time to read Mommy’s blog so that you will be reminded of our memories – both the happy ones and the challenging ones – together and how much Mommy and Daddy love you.
Happy reading, babies!