How do you know?

“How do you know that you’re marrying the right person?” someone asked Daddy A and I yesterday. It was out of the blue so we weren’t able to give a long answer except for the usual: “You just know.”

What does that mean, anyway? I made a lot of decisions before just because I knew. I changed my mind about a lot of them later on. I bought a dress without trying it on because I knew it will look great on me, then I ended up not wearing it because it is not flattering at all. We attempted to start a business two years ago because we knew it will be a hit, we ended up stopping in the middle of its launch because we lost interest. I married Daddy A because I knew he’s the one. But, did I really know? What if I don’t feel the same way five, ten, even twenty years from now? What will happen then?

How do you know you are marrying the right person?

And so I raised the question to Daddy A again when we were getting ready for bed last night. “You just know” is just too vague of an answer for a very important question.

We talked about everything we went through in the three years that we were boyfriend-and-girlfriend. It started out as a very romantic relationship. Think: paintings, flowers, cakes, dates and lots of sweet words. But those did not lead us anywhere close to the thought of marriage. What led us to wanting to commit to each other are the trials we went through and overcame; the moments we wanted to put an end to our relationship, but didn’t.

At the end of our discussion, we realized one thing: It’s not a question of knowing that you are marrying the right person, but a question of willingness.

After a huge argument, a misunderstanding, or even a broken heart, ask yourself… Are you willing to spend the rest of your life without this person? Because you only really know that you love someone when you choose to stay despite the mistakes and the imperfections.

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