1 – The Little Man and The Princess enjoying play time with just two stuffed toys they chose from their toy box
2 – The Princess pretending to be a Snow Queen
3 – Thoughtful tokens from MedelaMoms, thank you!
In the past weeks, I’ve been wondering where I fit in this world. This is so emo, I know, but I’ve really been thinking about it. I don’t feel a connection with my side of the family. I haven’t bonded with them for the longest time, and I don’t think it’ll happen any time soon because of the circumstances. I feel left out among the other mommies I know (I’m not sure why, maybe because most of the moms I know have “mommy barkadas” already – I’m not part of any). And when I met with my college friends last week, I felt out of place. Probably because they are still in party mode, while I am way past it. Well, I was never into it in the first place. Trying to figure out what I’m good at – something that when talked about, I will be the first person that others will remember – isn’t helping.
I really don’t know why I’m thinking about fitting in. I even find myself feeling sad about it and that’s just crazy!
I only got myself out of it when I remembered how much The Little Man clings to me and how The Princess would proudly shout “Bravo!” when I play a song for them. I realized there’s no need to worry and feel sad about not belonging because I do have a place in this world where I fit perfectly in… my little ones’ hearts. I don’t need to work extra hard to please them to feel and be accepted because we effortlessly click. Why I didn’t realize that earlier, I don’t know. Like I said, it’s crazy!
I may raise my voice when they become uncontrollable and would confiscate their toys when they’re fighting, but in the minis’ eyes, I am doing a great job as their mom and that there is no other place that I fit best in but in their company. I know because I feel it: in their hugs, kisses and genuine I love you‘s. I know because it is when I am with them that I feel most myself.
I am not a loner after all.